More Lingo

From the Hollywood to English dictionary:

The Town, n. 1. Los Angeles. 2. Except not all of Los Angeles. 3. Really just the film and television business. 4. Which thinks its all of Los Angeles.

People who work in the industry like to refer to the industry as The Town. Which, I guess means The Town refers to the town as The Town.

The Town is a collective. The Town speaks with one voice. Right now, I'm being told that The Town hasn't indicated whether it's business as usual yet following the writers' strike. The Town is waiting to see how the actors' contract shakes out. The Town can be coy.

The Town is also emotional. During the writers strike, the town was clinically depressed. The town didn't shower for a month. The town subsisted on Cherry Garcia and Cheetos and a tivoed Dog Whisperer marathon.

One day The Town decided that all meetings would come with the option of cold or room temperature water. Except the town didn't actually offer room temperature water -- the Town asked if "you wanted it room?" Because the town doesn't have time for superfluous four syllable words like "temperature".

Just like when you phone someone and they're not in (i.e. not in for you), the Town asks if the person you're calling can "return". The town is much too busy for the words "your call". The Town is an ergonomic ballet with no wasted movement.

"Hi, Dave Wells calling for The Town."
"She's in a meeting. Can she return?"

My feeling is - of course - she can return. She has every right to return. Why couldn't she return?

Unless The Town has banished her from the town.

New Notwist

But not until June in the states. For now, old is still good.


And the jellyfish.

Pigs Doing Backflips

From the Hollywood to English dictionary:

set piece, n. an elaborate sequence which sees either a chase, fight, or other action taking place in an original and memorable way. Trailer moments.

For my money, there are two types of set pieces -- organic and stupid.

As the word implies, the organic ones happen naturally and serve the story. Again, obviously, they arise most readily in action flicks because, um, they're action flicks. There's no action if you don't have Neo going all slow motion on somebody, or Harrison Ford falling a nautical mile out of a drainage pipe, or Jason Bourne just trying to brush his teeth.

But in comedies it's trickier. Especially with more character-based comedies. Because these are typically stories that wouldn't have set pieces. If you're dealing with two reasonably intelligent characters, odds are not good that they would actually end up hanging off a cliff with lemmings running up their pant legs.

What complicates matters is that studio execs love the idea of set pieces. Why -- because it's an easy critique. To the point that the phrase has become the go-to response for less than energetic development execs. They use set pieces as a crutch, because no one is calling bullshit.

Hey, here's an idea. Let's list every movie that tanked last year. I bet they all had set pieces.

Set pieces - as a tool for selling a movie - may have had a place five or ten years ago. I'm not arguing that it didn't make sense to look at it like this: Some movies had natural set pieces. Those set pieces were used in trailers. The movies made big ass money.

But trailers -- like everything else -- evolve. I'm not convinced set pieces sell movies like they used to, because audiences have evolved. They won't be fooled again. Good, natural set pieces sell movies -- but that's because those movies have naturally big moments.

Maybe I'm just sensitive to this right now, because I've been handed the note to add a few set pieces. But you don't just slap some hijinks in. Audiences are smarter than that. Juno -- like it or not -- made a hundred million dollars by at least showing some respect for their characters.

You want to force set pieces just to say you have set pieces? Then you're going to end up with The College Road Trip. Which will make some money, but that's because of the names and the marketing dollars, not because anyone finds tasers to the gut or pigs doing backflips funny.

Grand Is Right

Grand Archives enjoy DNA from Band Of Horses.

Plus, there's whistling that doesn't make me want to kill anyone, which is rare. So whistle while you can, because when I am king... punishable by death.

Representin'

It's a question I see a lot of screenwriters at the foothills of the heap ask: Agent or Manager?

First, let's define the differences. In my experience...

Managers typically have fewer clients, provide more hands-on script development, focus on networking opportunities (setting up meetings), and are more often in a position to be willing to "break" a new writer.

Agents typically have more clients, offer less one-on-one time, and focus more on making a sale or securing a writing assignment. Agents are registered with the state of California.

Managers are not registered with the state and, technically, are not supposed to negotiate a deal (they'll set you up with an entertainment attorney for that).

Think of it this way: A Manager is more like your Research & Development Department and your Marketing Department. An Agent is more like your Sales Force.

Because agencies come with a verifiable reputation and track record, it should be easier to do your homework on an agent. In theory, they should be more of a known commodity.

Because anybody can hang up a shingle and call themselves a manager, you need to do your due diligence. Both managers and agents will get a 10% commission on any money you make while working with them.

Any manager or agent who asks you to pay upfront for any service whatsoever is not legit. Run away.

So, back to the original question. If you're a new writer looking to break in, my feeling is that you have a better shot at aligning yourself with a manager who is willing to take on new clients. You want someone with good script development instincts who knows a lot of people. This is your chance to get your calling card script into a lot of peoples' hands.

And if things go well, the manager can hook you up with an agent.

The other option is to look for an ambitious junior agent who's willing to work with unknown writers.

And of course, there's the Big Ass Caveat -- there is no instruction manual. There is no definitive road map. There is no blueprint for a career path. It happens differently for everyone.

Rocket Science

Yes, it's top of the queue time. And get ready to start saying "there's a cello in your house now."

I Really Don't Know Clouds

I can see both sides of the Diablo Cody/Juno debate.

The first 15 minutes were overwritten to the nth degree. But the rest had heart and personality to spare. I understand that Diablo has the greatest inherent gift for self-marketing since Spike Lee. And I feel very sorry for all the readers in Hollywood who are going to spend the next year getting slapped with Cody-esque quips like "that's one doodle that can't be undid."

But last night, she showed up with a tattoo that couldn't be missed, and a history of taking her clothes off in public. She made writers seem cool.